Peace
Most of you know that Nick has technically been out of work for almost a year now. While he has been blessed to have some independent contract work, he has not been able to find a “normal” job. (Whatever normal means right now!) For any of you who know me well, you would probably be able to guess that not having a set paycheck coming in every month is one of my biggest fears/struggles. I am a money saver/hoarder. Everyone likes a safety net, but my ideal is probably ridiculously larger than most people’s ideal. Needless to say, this year has been a growing experience for me. I thought I knew what living by faith was, but I don’t know that I did. This year I actually have had to put into practice what my mouth has been saying. At one point during the summer, I remember praying fervently that “We couldn’t make it past X date- Please help God!”. Well, God listened, and only provided the money we needed on the last possible day. I thought I learned from that that God would always provide at least at the last minute. But time has gone on, and Nick still does not have a job. So, I put new requests to God. “How about a job by Christmas? That really is as far as we can make it.” Thinking I was being completely logical, I counted on the fact that God surely wouldn’t let us go past our “due date”. However, Christmas came and went, and Nick still does not have a job. After Christmas my stress levels increased exponentially. Until yesterday. Yesterday brought a new realization, that strangely, brought peace. I realized that my “due date” was not God’s “due date”. Now this might seem like a silly realization, but when you feel like you have truly looked at the situation and know when you can make it to, it is easy to start having “faith” that God will meet your due date. But when I finally realized and accepted that God has His own timing that does not match up with mine, peace came. Even though that means that we may have to give up things I thought of as necessities. God does not view them as necessities. Which gives me comfort. Now this does not mean I have stopped praying for a change in situation. I am still praying fervently (and would ask you would pray with us!). But, it does mean that I am at peace with where God has us. God will provide!
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I love these types of posts, Krista! So much to learn from each other and I often find that I’m not alone in my struggles! This was basically what God brought Jason I through over the past 2 years. Even though he had steady work, it was always non-stop, never giving him time with us and still, at the end of every month, we had just enough to pay our house payment, car payment and bills. Barely any left over for anything else. Not a great way to live and yet God brought us through that time to teach us MANY things, about our ourselves and more importantly, about Him.
One lesson I came away with, was realizing that along with God’s timing not always matching up with ours, sometimes His plan doesn’t match up with ours. Ask me a year ago if I thought moving out of state was God’s plan I would’ve said “heck no!” and mostly because… it wasn’t MY grand plan. Now looking back over the ups and downs of last year; thinking we would move, then not moving, only to get hired and move in 3 weeks… I can totally see God’s hand in all of it. And… we’re feeling so blessed with the outcome - more than we ever could have blessed ourselves
I will be praying for you guys and I’m sorry for this difficult time - because it really is, even though you’re learning great things through it. I’m always amazed at how God can take a time when we thought was horrible and we can look back on it with such fondness.
I learned that I must let my husband lead; not just talk about it and tell him I’m letting him, but REALLY let him lead our family. Also I learned that I CAN put God in a box (we do it all the time) but we cannot keep Him there. Thankfully He doesn’t allow us to. I’m eager to hear what you’ve learned when you’re in the “looking back” phase.
We are right there with you, Krista. I think alot of people are. It is amazing how “dates” come and go and we still make it! I have to say, though, it made for a beautifully quiet Christmas. No shopping. Just good old fashioned walks, sitting with the kids and reading to them, old classic movies and homemade gifts from random things around the house.
I have felt this way too! Our finite mind can only see a tip of the mosaic of life. But God can see the entire piece and His plan is the best, even though we might think it is the worst. We can doubt His will, but He puts us through these trials for our good.
Thank you for opening your heart, Krista. Now I know in what way to lift you up in prayer.
This was a beautiful post.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
I can sure relate and I will pray for your situation. I can say I’ve seen God provide for us during these 21 years of marriage.
Thanks for the encouraging words ladies, it is so comforting to know other people are going through the same thing and that God will provide for us all!
Tina, I am with you on the Christmas thing. It was a special Christmas, I LOVED all the homemade gifts. Really got down to what Christmas is about.
I have felt your prayers this week ladies, I don’t know why I didn’t share before.
God has kept me (mostly) at peace, and I covet your prayers!
Krista, I’m so sorry if my above comment came across like Jason and I were forced to be in debt because God wasn’t giving us any money. I didn’t mean it to sound that way at all and I’m sorry if I’m coming across sounding like we’re doing everything right and God just won’t bless us.
We’re facing the debt we’re in now, due to bad decisions we made, as a couple. Sometimes we made those decisions when Jason was at his high paying job in SF and we just weren’t looking down the road at him possibly getting laid off. But whatever the case, we didn’t struggle for 2 years because we made awesome decisions and God is just mean. Not at all. We’re learning lessons now that I hope we will carry deep into our marriage and be able to help our adult kids stay away from.
And I never meant to imply that you and Nick are where you’re at due to bad decisions on *your* part. I don’t know the intimate details of your home/marriage, so I would never even imply that. But I’m sorry if anything I said did come off that way to you.
Hey Stef, don’t worry about it! I never thought you thought God was punishing us or you guys!!! I know what you mean about bad decisions though… so easy to do when the livin’ is easy.
But then it comes back to bite you later on. One such case for us was buying a brand new car when we had the money. Monthly payments were no problem… but then when the money stops and the car isn’t as valuable as you need it to be… you realize in hindsight it might not have been the best choice to make. So yeah, I hear you on learning from mistakes and taking lessons that will carrying deep into your marriage!
One of the big things that I have learned is money management with another person is a whole different ball game than management by yourself! It is easy to “lose track” of your money when two people are putting money in and taking money out. At least for me it is, haha! One of the many things I am learning through this journey.
haha! we made the same mistake with Jason’s car. We paid it off, but man, is that car expensive to fix! Word to the wise: don’t buy European cars
Okay, I’m glad my comment didn’t come off that way. Thanks!